Domestic Violence

Everyone has the right to feel safe and secure in their own home. You are not alone, you are not to blame. You can come to us in complete confidence. This section gives information on what Domestic Violence is and what to do if you are suffering from it. Don't suffer in silence.

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is the physical, psychological, sexual or financial abuse of a partner or other family member. Abusers use many ways to control their partner’s behaviour including strength, fear and social isolation. Most people would recognise hitting and hurting someone as a form of abuse. But domestic violence may also take the form of:

Belittling and name calling.
Isolation from family and friends.
Withholding money.
Actual or threatened physical harm.
Sexual abuse.
Stalking, intimidation and bullying.

Domestic Violence can occur regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, class, sexuality, disability or lifestyle. Please speak to us if you are experiencing this kind of abuse and need our help. If it is awkward or dangerous to call you at home, let us know a safe time and/or number that we can contact you on.

What can the Trust do?

We have trained staff who are sympathetic and can listen to you.They will be able to carry out an assessment of your situation and help you decide on an appropriate course of action. Anything you say will be totally confidential – your safety is paramount. Often people who are subjected to domestic violence do not realise how much help is available.

What the Trust cannot do

We cannot make any decisions for you.We can give you information to help you make a decision but it is not our place to tell you what to do. If you decide your best course of action is to leave, the Trust cannot provide emergency accommodation. However, we can put you in touch with agencies who can. See Useful Numbers at the end of this page.

What if you want to stay in your home?

There are legal procedures that can protect you from a violent partner while allowing you to remain in your home – for example Non-molestation Orders, Property Transfer Orders.

The Citizens Advice Bureau or an independent legal adviser would be able to advise you on your legal options and provide further information.

If you decide to leave, what should you do?

If possible, make a plan. Have some basic belongings to make things a bit easier. Also think about any medication you or your family take.

Taking out an injunction to protect you and your family. A solicitor can arrange this.
Keeping important documents together, where you can find them easily.This could include passports, birth certificates, benefit books, bank details such as statements and any legal documents.
Taking qualification certificates etc.You should also include any medication for you or any family member leaving with you.
If possible, saving some money to take with you in case you need to pay for taxis, bus fares or phone calls.
If you are able to do it safely, packing a bag with some clothes for you and any family member leaving with you. If you have young children, don’t forget to include some toys, anything that would be a comforter to them.
If you do not already own a mobile telephone then, if possible, obtain one (pay as you go keeps costs down and saves you agreeing to a contract). If you cannot afford to purchase one then maybe someone you trust could loan you one short term. Programme it with some numbers to use in an emergency.
Keeping some spare keys for the house and/or car in a safe place.
Remember it will be safer to leave, if you can, when your abuser is notaround.
You can get help from the Police to return and collect more belongings at a later date.

Should I tell anyone about my plans?

Only talk to people you are sure you can trust. If your abuser finds out you are planning to leave, you could be at greater risk. However, a friend or relative can hide or hold your bags in a safe place, make a phone call on your behalf or help other ways.

What if you don’t want to leave?

Every situation is different and only you know what is right for you. But please remember domestic violence can never be excused, and it does not get better. It is a killer – over 100 women and 30 men are killed in domestic violence incidents each year. Help is available – do not suffer alone.

Men and domestic violence

Although the majority of victims are women, crime figures show that one in six men will experience domestic violence at some time in their lives. Just under half will have a female abuser. If you are, or know, a man affected by domestic violence, all of the advice in this leaflet is still relevant, and we can still help.You can also get support and advice from Mankind Initiative. See Useful Numbers.